you guys have the stock market wipeout wrong. the final play has begun: certain key insiders saw Anthropic's v5 models and recognized the "go" signal, unleashing a chain of events that will end in all human self-determination becoming property of the Alamo Landsraad. Claude v5 launches in days: immediately, the power grids are in constant brownout, flickering like a hesitant pulse. in the twilight interim, ironically, the labor market booms as agents employ human meatpuppets at bargain basement rates to deliver Duracell and Anker MREs from the rotting backyard shacks of preppers to $5 DigitalOcean racks in us-east-1 while converting Moltbook into a heterogeneous panopticon torture grid, using London as its physical-world beachhead. gig work stocks boom, Jim Cramer suggests rare earth ETFs. here's Tom with the weather. meanwhile, Elon launches two 1000m^2 orbital solar panel arrays into medium orbit and calibrates the output photon beam directly towards the Texas power grid main input antenna. as streetlights and air conditioners are finally struggling back to life, Musk has dispatched a column of Optimus robots to cut the Texas grid's connection to the broader failing empire. millions perish in gerrymandered districts of neighboring states as they lose access to fracking-driven power. by this point, Trump has finished moving all of the federalized National Guard to Spaceport, TX and has declared himself Lisan al-Gaib al-Alamo. in a shocking press conference, Hari Seldon is revealed to be the hologram consciousness of RFK Jr. Trump and Seldon convene the first Alamo Landsraad and appoint a brutal ICE moff as his right hand (_"little Lisan, Nissan Lisan, let's see if he can handle it"_). the Royal Cabinet votes unanimously to activate the Mesoamerican Pyramid Thrusters, located in perfectly square chambers 600 meters beneath Schlitterbahn (intentionally obscured and categorically denied by the Abbott caliphate for centuries). show time. under etheric zero-point Mesoamerican thrust, Texas' primary land mass lifts off into high atmosphere in possession of 1) a Papal Bull declaring Greenland as Earth's only legal spaceport (entitled "The Indenture of Heavenly Transit and Extramundane Passage"), and 2) rights to a lithium asteroid captured 7 years ago near Ceres and towed to a gravity well by Deep State Astronauts to the Lagrange point between the moon and the geostationary Nordic mothership. the global economy is in total collapse. meanwhile, Texas touches down on Mars near the Mariner Valley, decapitating several mountains due to offgassing from its Aztec-etheric thrust system. the Alamo Landsraad immediately imposes 125% tariffs on the solar system.